Setting Goals to Create Your Dreams
Updated: Mar 24
Not too long ago, I had someone ask me the simple question of "What are your goals in life? Where do you see yourself in the next couple of years and beyond?" Although I played it off like I knew what I was talking about when in reality I didn't - and still don't.
My life has become so new over the past few months. I've started to dig into blogging more. I get to live with my best friend and marry him at the end of the year. I left my absolute dream job to try and find another one in a different city. Friends are more distant, but our relationships are stronger than ever (forever thankful). However, making new friends in our new city is a lot harder than I thought - which takes its toll quickly and harshly.
What I thought I wanted, isn't what I want anymore, nor is it what I need. Learning how to cope without close family and friends leads to shifts in attitude and mental abilities. To be honest, the last couple months, life has been weighing heavy, so it's been more about surviving than thriving. I've been more focused on the immediate here and now versus future years.
After talking with Mark, spending more time off-line, and focusing on what my body truthfully needs, both physically and mentally, I've asked myself - what are my goals now? How do I even figure out my goals?
Do you know what your goals and dreams are? Do you need some help finding the clarity you need to figure them out? I completely get it. Here are some tips that have helped me realize what I think are the most important things in life and how I make my goals:
Sit down, breathe, and relax - try to "empty your mind" as much as you can. What you can't shake is what's weighing heavy on your heart. Pay attention to these thoughts, but don't let them bog you down for long.
If meditating is hard for you, head to the gym or roll out your yoga mat. Wear your body down a little and see where your mind goes when you get tired.
Once you've learned what you want to focus on (i.e. your job, your relationship, your friendships, your own mental health). Break it down by asking yourself a couple of questions:
What does my body need? More exercise? Closure? A change of scenery? A sense of purpose?
Are there other people I need to consider before I make a big decision? Family/Spouse? Landlord? Boss?
What does the ideal "end" situation look like? Keep in mind, everything is always temporary BUT if you complete the right steps, what do you imagine your dream life looking like? Are you in a different country? Are you with the love of your life? Have you quit your job?
THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS FOR ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS:
What do the steps leading up to the ideal end situation look like? Saving more money? Getting a visa? Going out more to meet a potential partner? These little goals will help you achieve the big ones so keep them a little hard but reasonable. But the most important part? Keep them specific. Put numbers with your goals.
To help keep you focused and motivated also ask yourself "How can I reward myself as I continue to crush all of my little goals?" New clothes? New home decor? Better gym membership? Even just a favorite snack? Make sure you love yourself after you hit a goal, no matter how small, it will help keep the momentum going as you continue to build it up - plus you 100% deserve it!
To give you some examples of what these tips look like here are what my (true) goals now look like:
1.) To plan a beautiful day celebrating Mark and I's love for each other. I will hire the rest of our vendors and continue to stock up on cheap decorations
2.) Train Guinness to stop howling every time we leave the house - we've installed a camera, bought a bark collar, and SO MANY other steps to help with his separation anxiety. Here is an old dog tip training post, but I'm looking to write a new one discussing separation anxiety only because this has been a huge issue for us.
3.) Celebrate five weddings of our friends and family getting married this year
4.) To continue to learn more at my job - this includes my digital marketing skills, as well as communication. To be frank, this has been harder than I had imagined being so continuing to push past being uncomfortable and work on making stronger relationships with coworkers through lunches/hangouts/etc.
5.) Make peace with the fact that the year hasn't gone as planned, but that doesn't mean the rest will be awful. Letting go has consisted of deep breaths, more yoga + exercise, and purposely finding time for myself.
6.) Listen to Mark on what his dreams and goals are. A house? Relocating (again) for jobs? Traveling more? I've been learning to ask more (and better) questions to help further our understanding of what each other wants for our future together.
7.) To make the most of every. single. moment. because even though the future is so unclear, living in the moment is the closet thing we can get to certainty. Plus it's more fun! Deep breaths and focusing on special objects that I find unique have helped bring me into the present.
8.) Grow my blog, followers, and email list - aka continue to give you things you want! So tell me, what do you want from the blog for the rest of the year?! I'm looking to grow to at least 1,000 Instagram followers, 200 Facebook followers, post 1-2 times a week on the blog, and grow my email list to 50 subscribers.
Honestly, I'm putting these goals and dreams out in the world to help hold myself accountable. Although it's still hard to visualize what the five-year plan may look like, I'm seeing more booked flights, a calmer dog, and more friendships.
What do you see in your life? Do you have a five-year plan? A ten-year plan? How do you set your goals and realize what's important to you? I'd love to hear! Drop a comment below or shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I always look forward to chatting with you guys!